Posted on Categories:Periods, Puberty

HOW TO CREATE A FIRST PERIOD PACK

How to create a first period pack for your child

Being prepared for your daughters first period with a first period pack will help her feel more at ease, as well as ensure we are not caught out when it does arrive.  The average age of a first period in western culture is 12, however some girls start their period as young as eight, so it’s best to be prepared at any age.

 

 

So how do we put together a first period pack?

  1. Start with a pouch to keep all of her essential items when she’s at school, sports, activities or sleep overs.  A waterproof case is a good option.  It can be as simple as a pencil case, it may be conspicuous, but it could also be a little bit special. These waterproof pouches are the perfect size, and with many design options, you can find the perfect one for your daughter.  SEE MORE DESIGNS HERE

2.  Add some pads.  Pads are most likely the first option to be used.  Think sustainable and organic if possible.  Sometimes these options may not be available in stores, but there are many great options available online.  Often these come as a subscription service, so you place the order once and they are delivered to your door monthly or quarterly, no need to get caught out again.  Remember when you get them to show her how to use them.  Open the product, show her how to stick them to her knickers, how often she might need to change, and then how to dispose of them.

Some of my favourite disposable brands are:

Resuable brands:

3.  A spare pair of knickers.  These can be normal underwear, or period underwear which she can either use additionally to pads, or on their own.  Take a look at

4. An essential oil roller.  For those days when cramps are hitting and she needs a bit of ease.  Something containing Clary Sage is perfect to help relax the cramping of the uterus.  Roll oil direclty over the uterus, or onto pulse points.

Mama Flow from Wilde Blends is a beautiful oil that helps support, soothe and provide temporary relief for cramps, hormones, nausea, emotional mood swings and stress which are sometimes associated with period cycles in women.

Remember that painful periods are common, but they are not normal.  If pain cannot be managed through simple techniques, and are stopping you practicing normal daily activities, this could be a sign that there is something not quite right and advice from a GP should be sought.

5. A non-toxic deodorant.  If she is nearing to start her period, chances are that she is also starting to sweat a bit more, and therefore possibly smell.  Look for a deodorant that does not contain aluminium or other toxins that could disrupt her hormones.  Thankfully now there are some wonderful options for all natural deodorants.  Sometimes it may take some trial and error as to what works for you, but its worth it.

Some wonderful natural options include:

6.  Other smaller items could include:

  • Some chocolate or mints
  • Hair ties
  • Wipes
  • Disposable bag if disposal of used product is not available straight away,
  • A small favourite crystal, especially if she is prone to anxiety or worrying.  Take a look at blue lace agate if that is the case.

You can do this together.  Find a bit of time together this weekend to sit down together and create a little pack all ready to go for when her first period does arrive.

You can find ready made period packs to purchase here

I’d love to see what you come up with.  Tag me on instagram @beyondthecusp to show me your Period Prep packs.

Posted on Categories:Periods, Products, Puberty, Uncategorized

HOW OFTEN DOES A GIRL GET HER PERIOD

What is a normal cycle length when you first start your period?

When girls first start their period, and potentially for the following 2-3 years, their cycles do not follow the 26-32 day norm that we are used to.  Some things to remember.

– A normal cycle length for girls can be anywhere from 21-45 days, with an average cycle length of 32 days.
– The amount of days they have their period can also range from 1-7 days.
– The flow can change from cycle to cycle from light spotting to heavy.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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The key at this stage is to always be prepared with pads, undies, or whatever form of product you have chosen. Carrying emergency pads is always a good idea, and if the flow is heavy, wearing backup pads and undies.

It’s also a great idea to start tracking their cycle at this point.  It can often feel like you might have your period every week, or only every few months.  But if they are tracking, they have a much better picture of just how often and how heavy each cycle is.  Often changes in their moods and energy can be the first signs of an impending bleed.  After a number of cycles they’ll get a much better idea of what is normal for them.

What to focus on when tracking your menstrual cycle.

Tracking can either be done with an app like Clue App or My Flo, or just in a diary.

A good idea of what things to focus on each day include:
– What day they are on, EG, day 1 of the cycle is the first day of bleeding
– How heavy the flow is, spotting, light, heavy.
– Any cervical fluid or vaginal secretions, if so, is it clear, stretchy like egg white, tacky.
– Food cravings
– Appetite in general
– Energy high or low
– Chatty or quiet
– Cramping
– Tender breasts
– Happy or sad
– Irritable
– Focused or distracted
– Productive or unproductive
– How does your hair and skin look?

Tracking your menstrual cycle is not only about when you’ll get your period, it’s an overall look at your whole wellbeing.  If things are going wrong hormonally, the menstrual cycle is often where the signs will first show up.  With a good picture of how the menstrual cycle looks for each individual, you will be able to take these along to your health practitioners for the right support.

Posted on Categories:Periods, Puberty

My journey to teaching girls about periods – Part One

 

Beyond The Cusp teaching girls about periods

Hey, my name is Milina.  I’m a mum to two daughters and a son.  I was 40 when I started to really learn about my menstrual cycle and how it affected me.   The more I learnt, the more ripped off I felt.  I felt sad and angry that I was only just learning this, 28 years into this stage of my life.  Like the vast majority of us, this knowledge just wasn’t shared, mainly because it wasn’t known.

So I went through my teens wondering what was wrong with me.  Why did I have moods and energies that fluctuated so often, and why wasn’t I like all the other girls?  Little known to me, we all felt the same.

My 20’s saw me taking the pill for the most part.  Not entirely for birth control, but also to skip periods when I wanted.  It was kind of the done thing wasn’t it, even though I had no idea of the real and lasting side effects.  I didn’t even know that we only have 5-6 fertile days during your cycle.  I stopped taking the pill when my body and mind no longer felt like mine, and I fell pregnant 4 months later.

I went through my years of conception with no idea when I was and wasn’t fertile.  Subsequently, both of our daughters were happy little surprises.

I then went through my 30’s hiding this part of my life from all of my family. Unsure of how to acknowledge it to my daughters.  Not talking about it in front of my husband, to not cause him any discomfort.  And not thinking about how important it was for our son to know about.

Making Changes

When I learned at 40 all of the things that I’d not known before, I knew I wanted something different for my family.  So I continued to learn and started to make changes.  Subtle at first, with little things, like asking for alone time when I had my period, telling my family I needed more quiet and more space at this time, and bringing up conversations that had never been had.

This is just one part of what’s lead me to creating these workshops.  Over the next few weeks I’ll be sharing more. Some of them are personal and raw, but they’re also important. I know by sharing them will change the way for our girls and their future.

These workshops are about more than just periods for me.  They’re about women, young and old, taking the power back into our own hands.  For too long we’ve been told to be quiet and put up with things that we shouldn’t be putting up with.  We’ve been told the best way to heal is to numb our bodies with medication, rather than looking at causes.  Learning about our bodies and our cycles, in a community setting, is one of the most empowering things we can do.  And by doing so we are helping heal all of us.

Part two coming soon.

Posted on Category:Puberty

What is that white stain in my knickers?

 

As girl’s hormones start to change, one of the changes in their body is the start and increase of cervical/vaginal fluid.  This can be noticed simply by a little creamy like stain in their knickers.  It’s not unusual for girls to think this is just a little bit of wee.  Every girl is different, but this can occur anywhere from 6 months before she starts her period to a few years.

As she nears her period, the fluid will change again and she may feel wetter then before around her vulva and in her knickers.  The last few months before she starts her period tends to be a time of increased fluid.  The fluid is generally thin and clear or whitish and won’t have an odour.

Daily washing with soap on the outside is all that’s required for personal hygiene. Nothing needs to be inserted or products used to “douche” the vagina, especially those containing fragrances. The vagina has an incredible way of cleaning itself, and using additional products can disrupt the healthy balance of bacteria and cause a host of health issues.  These could include abnormal discharge, itchiness and bad odour.   This is where knowing what’s normal and not normal for her will be a great indicator of her health.

If it becomes uncomfortable for them, using panty liners or lower absorbency period underwear will help them.

Talking about cervical fluid is as essential as talking about our period.  It’s important they know it’s normal, how much they can expect, and that once they start their period it continues as a normal part of a healthy cycle.

Cervical fluid is a sign of many things, and knowing this can be quite empowering.

 

Here’s three ways getting to know your cervical fluid can be a game changer:

  • Once girls cycles start to become more consistent they can use their cervical fluid as a guide to when their next period will start. Yes, better than just counting 28 days from the first day of our period, assessing cervical fluid is a more precise indicator of when our next period will start.  This is because as we near ovulation our cervical fluid increases and thickens until it is near egg white consistency just before ovulation occurs. Once ovulation has happened and we enter the luteal phase of our cycle, we have 14 days until our period starts. Our cycle length changes in the follicular phase (the time between when our period starts and we ovulate).  The follicular phase can vary in length anywhere from 10-16 days.   However things like travel, stress and health issues can also cause this to vary more.  So in a normal healthy cycle, getting to know the point of ovulation through your cervical fluid can help you better determine when your period will start.
  • Knowing what is normal for your cervical fluid to look like and when it occurs in your cycle is a big indicator of your health. Normal cervical fluid can appear at different times throughout your cycle, not just at ovulation.  If you start to see change in that fluid, or discharge of another kind appears, ie it may change colour, odour, texture or become itchy, this often indicates signs of infection.
  • Later as our young women become sexually active, cervical fluid can be used as an indicator of their fertile period. Getting to know your own cycle and keeping an eye on your cervical fluid can be one way of either contraception or conception.  In her book Period Power, Maisie Hill has documented how she has used the Sympto-Thermal method (where she tracks her cycle and takes her temperature daily) as a form of contraception.  Knowing your most fertile days, of which there are 5-6 due to how long sperm can survive, ise a very useful tool and a great way to know your body.

Cervical fluid is as much an important part to our healthy cycle as our period, and getting to know this part of themselves can really help girls trust and love more about their bodies.

Posted on Categories:Periods, Puberty

That Libra Ad

In the last month we’ve seen one of the most controversial ads on our tv screens, and in prime time.  Why is this ad so controversial?  Because it shows period blood.  Libra have broken the norm of showing blue liquid as a replacement for period blood, and shown something that actually depicts reality, including blood streaming down a woman’s leg whilst in the shower, and a woman removing a menstrual pad.

https://youtu.be/lm8vCCBaeQw

People have been so offended by this ad that Ad Standards have received more than 600 complaints, making it the most complained about ad this year.

So what is so offensive about it?  Firstly, with full transparency, I’m going to say I was a little taken aback by it when I first saw it as well.  But I quickly asked myself why I felt like that, and realised it’s the old shameful beliefs we have been conditioned with.  Don’t talk about it, it’s gross, it’s dirty, no-one wants to hear about it, and heaven forbid don’t let the children know!

A few weeks back Nat Kringoudis posted about it on her Facebook page.  I was aghast at some the comments and some of the comparisons people were likening it to.  Things like  a used condom and ejaculation.  I kind of don’t blame people for thinking like this, it’s the way we’ve been conditioned.  But it’s time to change.  With those comments aside, it’s the following comments that made me think unless we change how we think ourselves, nothing will change going forward.  As I was making a quick dash to the bakery this morning (because we had nothing for school lunches), the conversation on the radio was around the complaints for this ad and why people were offended.  The woman who called through was one that had complained to the Ad Standards.  Her complaint was similar to what I had read on other threads.  Her complaint was not for the ad itself, but more for the time slot it was allowed to be shown in, when she wanted to sit down to relax with her family and watch tv.  Now she was forcefully put in a position to talk to her children about something that she was not ready to discuss.  She mentioned her children were 13, 11 and 6.  She’d had discussions with her 13 year old, but not with her more “conservative” 11 year old, and her 6 year old was now traumatised and had a very negative first introduction to periods.

I found this so interesting for a number of reasons.  I wanted to ask her why it would be seen as negative?  We are so accustomed to relating blood with pain and suffering, that someone is either injured or hurt.  But a simple explanation of “this is what a healthy woman’s body does, and its not from harm or injury” could be all that is required to put a child’s minds at ease.

So let’s break this down more.  The complaints I’ve seen a lot have been about the ad being shown at Prime Time, and that it’s either not appropriate for children, or that the parents should have the right to discuss periods when they are ready, not when being raised in an ad.

Prime time TV, when Home and Away is being aired with subject matters like drug abuse, arson, pregnancy caused through rape, eating disorders, infidelity.  I haven’t watched Home and Away for a long time, but these were some of the subject matters when I last saw it.  None of these have anything to do with how a healthy woman’s body function, yet it’s okay to show?  Are conversations being had around these topics?

Prime time TV, when Bondi Rescue is being aired, with blood, vomiting, sexual misconduct and drunkeness often being shown.  In my home vomiting is a big inducer of anxiety, and in my opinion, much more disgusting than period blood.  But is that complained about?  None of these have anything to do with how a healthy woman’s body function, yet it’s okay to show?  Are conversations being had around these topics?

What about the Bachelor?  Another prime time TV show where a man is making out with a number of women, or an ad is shown with a woman grinding herself on top of him while in a bikini.  Is this forcing conversations also?  Or do we just cover their eyes, look away and pretend nothing happened?

I’m not saying that any of these should or shouldn’t be shown, I’m just asking how is one offensive and forcing unwanted conversations, and the others not?  We have become so accustomed to seeing everything else on tv, that it’s okay.  Everything except period blood.

Asaleo Care, makers of Libra, said it launched the #bloodnormal campaign to try to normalise periods, break down taboos and to generate conversation.

According to the company’s research, 3 out of 4 Australian women say there is a greater stigma attached to periods than there is drugs or STIs, and a further 8 out of 10 women go to great lengths to hide their period.

Most alarmingly, their research revealed that 70 per cent of young Australian women would rather fail a class than have friends know they were on their period.

We fear what we don’t know and periods and vaginas must be one of the most feared subjects out there.  We automatically think periods equal sex, but that is not the case.  The more we talk about periods, and how it is part of a healthy woman’s body, the less stigma there is around it.

Put aside that it’s a sales tactic, if it takes a shocking and “offensive” ad to start the conversation, that can only be a good thing.  It may be getting some mothers or older folks knickers in a knot, but it’s relieving the anxiety of the 14 year olds out there, and reassuring them that it’s okay to talk about periods, even if thats not the message they are getting at home.

Posted on Category:Puberty

Seven signs your daughter’s period is coming

HOW DO I KNOW WHEN MY DAUGHTER WILL START HER PERIOD?

For our young girls, puberty can sound scary and gross.  They know their bodies are about to change, but they don’t know how or when exactly.  The scariest part is WHEN will they start their period?  Some girls can get their periods as young as 8 and as late as 16, and in our culture the average age is 12.

So, how do you know when your daughter will get her period?  Well, we can never be sure exactly, and there is no way of speeding it up or slowing it down.  However, we can get a good idea that it’s not far away by other signs. Note, there is no right or wrong order to this, each girl is different.

SEVEN SIGNS YOUR DAUGHTER WILL START HER PERIOD SOON

1. Breasts start to grow.  First they bud.  You may notice them sticking out a little further or the nipple area growing.  The buds are quite hard to the touch and can be quite tender.  Evening Primrose Oil can be an option to help with any tenderness.  Periods come generally 2-3 years after first budding.

2. Growth spurt. You’ll notice in her height, her hands and her feet.  Some girls grow 10cm in the year before they start their period, and many girls are at, or near their adult height by the time their period comes.

3.  Weight Gain:   You might notice that she is getting chubbier.  This is not only normal, but necessary for girls for sufficient amount of oestrogen to build up.  This can happen just before puberty starts, or throughout the process.  Around 16 she can go through another period of weight gain.  Again, this is her hormones working themselves out, and things will normalise.  As long as your daughter is active, eating well and having pain-free periods, this should not be of concern.

4. Sweatier and oilier.  You may notice oilier hair and little breakouts on her face, as well as more sweatiness.   When she’s ready to start using deodorants, seek options that don’t contain Aluminium or parabens.  Both of these toxins interfere with oestrogen levels, and can cause hormone imbalances, which lead to a number of other nasty side affects.  There are plenty of natural alternatives now.  Personally, I am a heavy sweater, and have found great results with No Pong.  Biome or your local health shop will also be a great place to look.

5. More hair:  Firstly it’ll be the hair on her arms and legs that thicken up and get darker.  Then she may mention more hair around her pubic area and underarms.  To start it’ll be soft and lighter, and will gradually get thicker and darker.

6. Cervical fluid/discharge.  She might notice this as white or yellow stains in her knickers. This fluid or mucus can begin 6-18 months before her period starts.  The few weeks leading up to her first period this fluid can become thicker and more like egg white.  This will then continue once she has her period throughout other stages of her cycle, and will be the most telling sign of being fertile.  It’s important to know what is normal and not normal fluid.  While the consistency changes throughout the cycle, it should not smell, itch or change colour.  If anything does change it’s a sign of infection.  It’s also worth noting that soap on the outside is all that is needed for cleaning.  Panty liners can be used on those days where there is more cervical fluid.  You can go for reusable options, like Hannah-Pad, or Modibodi, or if disposable use organic and biodegradable options, like Tsuno.

7. Moods.  Those infamous moods!  You might notice her feeling happier or angrier than usual at times.  It can be scary for them at times, the anger they feel all of a sudden.  She might also feel more strongly about someone, in a way she haven’t felt before.  It’s those hormones rushing through.  She might not say it, but having a bit more one on one time with you at this time may be just enough to support her through.  Making regular dates together is very worthwhile.

Help your daughter be prepared by talking about the changes and allowing her to ask questions.  Much of the fear comes from the unknown, and the more they know, they more comfortable they are.

This post includes affiliate links that, if purchased, earn me a small commission.

Posted on Category:Puberty

Your period is not just about your period

That’s right ladies, it’s not just about that time of the month when we bleed.

There’s a whole lot more to it that shows us we are in optimal health.

 

Things like:
– A cycle within a normal range, which despite beliefs, is not 28 days, but anywhere from 24-34 days
– A healthy ovulation, which can be determined by cervical fluid, and again, is not necessary on day 14.  In fact assessing a health ovulation is in some opinions more important than your actual period in determining balanced hormones.  And yes, healthy ovulation is important in all stages, not just when we want to conceive.
– Healthy amounts of cervical fluid with the right consistency, and at the right time
– The amount of blood lost during your period, with healthy amounts being between 25-80 mls.  Outside of these parameters can show something is up.  You’re not always the lucky ones if you only bleed for a day and just need one pad.  It’s a sign that you’re not producing enough lining in your uterus, which could lead to fertility issues.
– The amount of days you bleed for.  3-7 is a healthy range.
– Pain during any part of our cycle, including breast pain
– Your premenstrual symptoms.  If there outside anything that is normal for you, then something is likely up.  Extra irritable or anxious this month (yes me!), craving more carbs than usual, having trouble getting out of bed?  All things we’ve been told are “normal”, but also signs that something is not balancing right.
– How stored emotional trauma affects your cycle

We don’t often talk about these things, so how do we know what is normal or not.  Especially when we are in our teens or have just started your period.  You might think that just because you experience something, everyone does.  But it’s not like that, and how do we know if we are never told, or never talk about it.  We can go through decades of not properly understanding our bodies.  I did, and I’m still being blown away by the information I learn.

Talking with our girls about what is normal and healthy, and more importantly, how to be aware of what is going on for them, is vital for them as they get to know the changes in their body.  Giving them the knowledge to know their bodies, understand what is normal for them, and trust that when their bodies show them different signs they will know something is up.  These are all things I talk about in our workshops.

One thing I say in our workshops is that periods are not something to hate on.  Sure they can take us by surprise at times and put a spanner in the works with some plans.  But how lucky are we as females to get an ongoing report card of how healthy we are!  How often have we heard that women get the raw deal, we have to have periods and all that come with it, and go through the pain of carrying and birthing children.

But what if we’ve just been taught to look at it the wrong way for all these generations.

Our whole cycle is a way of letting us know how healthy we are.  How balanced our hormones are, how balanced our lifestyle is, how balanced our diet is.  If we could learn to tune in to those signs more, and if we were taught this when we FIRST STARTED OUR PERIOD, how different would things be?

So don’t think of your period as just your period.  Start looking at it as an ongoing report card to your overall health.

If you’d like your girls to learn more about this, we’d love to see you at our workshops.  See here for more details

 

Posted on Category:Puberty

How to talk to your daughter about puberty

“I don’t have to hide under a blanket to ask my mum questions anymore.”  
Ruby, 11 after Beyond The Cusp Workshop.

Our girls ARE curious. They may not initiate the questions or the conversation, but I can guarantee they are all ears when you are talking about it. Particularly if you’re having a conversation with another adult.

This quote was from my own daughter. Yes, she used to hide under the blanket while she asked me questions and I answered. She was very curious to know answers, but also very embarrassed. That is okay! I encouraged this, do whatever works.

You may have started noticing changes within your daughter. The puberty changes like breast buds, hair growth and the white fluid stains in her knickers. If you find it a bit hard to raise the conversation you could start with a letter. I was raised primarily by my father. He was a man of few words, but when he had something important to let us know, we’d get home from school to a little letter and a chocolate on our pillow. I really appreciated those letters. I knew they had meaning and were important, and I appreciated him for it.

Try writing a little letter and opening up the conversation that way. Invite her to come to you for any questions when she’s ready, or
perhaps set aside a little one-on-one time where you can say this will be a special time to talk about her changes. Remind her that you were once her age too, and you know how she’s feeling. Share some of your own stories, and if she feels the need to hide under a blanket, let her do it.