Posted on Categories:Periods, Puberty, Uncategorized

IS THIS MY PERIOD AGAIN OR AM I SPOTTING?

Spotting or period

When our girls first get their period, it’s not unusual for them to experience spotting in between periods. This can cause confusion and they think their period has returned so soon.

During the teen years, it’s normal for a girls cycle to range from 21 to 45 days. If there is any bleeding less than that time, or lighter bleeding during that time, they could be spotting, rather than a period. It’s important to note that spotting is not considered your period and that we teach them the difference. When they are tracking their period, spotting should not be counted as the beginning of menstruation.

Let’s look at why spotting might be occuring, and then how to “spot” the difference.

For the first few years of menstruation our brains are still working out how to communicate with our ovaries. Because of this we may ovulate in only 50% of these cycles. As ovulation is the point in our cycle where we make progesterone, if we are not ovulating, we are not making progesterone. Progesterone keeps your uterine lining intact until your period comes. If your progesterone levels are too low, you might start to spot after ovulation, or around that time if your body has not yet started ovulating each cycle. This can also be the reason why we experience spotting in the few days leading up to our period.

So, how do we know if we have our period or we are spotting? We can determine the difference by looking at the following

Flow

  • Period: A normal period will have between 30-80ml of blood. Using 3-6 pads per day
  • Spotting: Much less flow with only minimal absorption required, perhaps only one pad or panty liner

Duration

  • Period: Flow lasts for 3-7 days
  • Spotting: May occur for only 1-2 days and not be heavy

Pattern

  • Period: Will come in a cycle between 21-45 days in the first few years of her period.  As it becomes more regular will be a cycle from 24-32 days
  • Spotting: No pattern, can appear at any stage, but typically may come around ovulation or premenstrually

Colour

  • Period: Usually bright or dark red
  • Spotting: Can be light pink, dark brown or red

Symptoms

  • Period: Often accompanied with the onset of common symptoms such as cramps, tender breasts or food cravings
  • Spotting: Generally no other symptoms

If you’re daughter seems to be getting her period more often than normal, it could be that she is in fact spotting. Using these notes you can help her recognise the difference.

To prepare your daughter for any instances of spotting, it is always a good idea to have her prepared with products.  I recommend having a period pack with her at all times.  I have some ideas for you here:  HOW TO CREATE A FIRST PERIOD PACK FOR YOUR CHILD

Some of my favourite sustainable products to have on hand include:

Tsuno Pads and panty liners

Modibodi period underwear

 

Posted on Categories:Periods, Puberty, Rites Of Passage

HOW TO HONOUR YOUR DAUGHTERS FIRST PERIOD

Honour your daughters first period

 

Honouring your daughters first period and beyond is not only a one time event.

Think about any event that caused your body to go through big changes. Having a baby would be one such time. There were many conversations, a lot of preparation, celebration, most likely tears or anxiousness, and then many more conversations. At times you might have felt alone, like you were the only one going through what you were going through, because nobody had told you what you were going through was normal.

Our girls are going through these same big things at the time around their first period. By honouring it with many conversations, preparedness and a sense of normality will help honour this time and just how wonderful her body is.

Here are some ways in which you can honour your daughters first period.

Normalise Conversations

– Talk about your own cycle.If you still get a period tell her when you are bleeding and how that affects you.Whether you get a period or not, you can talk to her about your energetic cycles.
– Be factual about anatomy and use correct terms. Ovaries, uterus, cervix, vagina and vulva
– Ask her what she knows about periods
– Share your first period story with her
– Talk about the energetic and mood ebbs and flows of the cycle
– Remind her that this is shared by every woman and is a sign of health
– Think about the conversations you would have liked to have prior to your first period

Prepare with products

-Talk her through the range of products she has available to her.  Include pads, period underwear, tampons and menstrual cups.
– Buy a few sample packs and take a look at how each of them work (See my IGTV for more info on period underwear and Menstrual cups)
– Let her make the decision of what she wants to use first and give them a trial run
– Have the products all ready to go, in a place where she can find them

Celebrate your daughters first period

-Acknowledging this Rite of Passage is just as important as any other.  But doing it in a way that also honours your own daughters personality is important.
– Talk to your daughter about how this is a special time and you would like to do something that honours her.  Ask her how she would like to celebrate.
– Some suggestions include:
– A pamper day, also a great time to talk about slowing down and taking care of our body
– A bedroom refresh
– A special piece of jewellery
– A circle ceremony with aunties and other special women
– Special time with just the two of you

Help her track

– Honouring her cycle includes helping her navigate through the days, especially in the beginning.  When her period arrives teach her how to track her entire cycle, using either an app (girls tend to like Clue or Flo) or a diary.  This will help her get to know her own body’s rhythms and what is normal for her.  The more she gets to know her own body, the more she can come to trust and love it.

Important things to track include:
– Bleeding days (how heavy or light)
– Spotting days
– Mood changes
– Skin
– Cramping
– Energy changes

Continual Conversation

– Even though many conversations have been had, it’s still so very new.  As a result, it’s a little bit scary.  Periods can be missed, can be heavier one month or can come while at camp.  Honouring her cycle means always being there to ask and answer questions and to check in on her.

– Does she know how often to change products?
– Does she know what to do if she needs to change at school?
– Is she aware of where to find her period products?
– Does she know what to do if she has a leak on her clothes or sheets?
– Is she ready to start considering other products?
– Does she know she is not alone?

You can open the conversation around your daughters first period, as well as keep the conversation going, through a Positive Period Workshop.

TAKE ME TO UPCOMING WORKSHOPS

FIND A WORKSHOP FACILITATOR IN MY AREA

Posted on Categories:Periods, Puberty

HOW TO CREATE A FIRST PERIOD PACK

How to create a first period pack for your child

Being prepared for your daughters first period with a first period pack will help her feel more at ease, as well as ensure we are not caught out when it does arrive.  The average age of a first period in western culture is 12, however some girls start their period as young as eight, so it’s best to be prepared at any age.

 

 

So how do we put together a first period pack?

  1. Start with a pouch to keep all of her essential items when she’s at school, sports, activities or sleep overs.  A waterproof case is a good option.  It can be as simple as a pencil case, it may be conspicuous, but it could also be a little bit special. These waterproof pouches are the perfect size, and with many design options, you can find the perfect one for your daughter.  SEE MORE DESIGNS HERE

2.  Add some pads.  Pads are most likely the first option to be used.  Think sustainable and organic if possible.  Sometimes these options may not be available in stores, but there are many great options available online.  Often these come as a subscription service, so you place the order once and they are delivered to your door monthly or quarterly, no need to get caught out again.  Remember when you get them to show her how to use them.  Open the product, show her how to stick them to her knickers, how often she might need to change, and then how to dispose of them.

Some of my favourite disposable brands are:

Resuable brands:

3.  A spare pair of knickers.  These can be normal underwear, or period underwear which she can either use additionally to pads, or on their own.  Take a look at

4. An essential oil roller.  For those days when cramps are hitting and she needs a bit of ease.  Something containing Clary Sage is perfect to help relax the cramping of the uterus.  Roll oil direclty over the uterus, or onto pulse points.

Mama Flow from Wilde Blends is a beautiful oil that helps support, soothe and provide temporary relief for cramps, hormones, nausea, emotional mood swings and stress which are sometimes associated with period cycles in women.

Remember that painful periods are common, but they are not normal.  If pain cannot be managed through simple techniques, and are stopping you practicing normal daily activities, this could be a sign that there is something not quite right and advice from a GP should be sought.

5. A non-toxic deodorant.  If she is nearing to start her period, chances are that she is also starting to sweat a bit more, and therefore possibly smell.  Look for a deodorant that does not contain aluminium or other toxins that could disrupt her hormones.  Thankfully now there are some wonderful options for all natural deodorants.  Sometimes it may take some trial and error as to what works for you, but its worth it.

Some wonderful natural options include:

6.  Other smaller items could include:

  • Some chocolate or mints
  • Hair ties
  • Wipes
  • Disposable bag if disposal of used product is not available straight away,
  • A small favourite crystal, especially if she is prone to anxiety or worrying.  Take a look at blue lace agate if that is the case.

You can do this together.  Find a bit of time together this weekend to sit down together and create a little pack all ready to go for when her first period does arrive.

You can find ready made period packs to purchase here

I’d love to see what you come up with.  Tag me on instagram @beyondthecusp to show me your Period Prep packs.

Posted on Categories:Periods, Products, Puberty, Uncategorized

HOW OFTEN DOES A GIRL GET HER PERIOD

What is a normal cycle length when you first start your period?

When girls first start their period, and potentially for the following 2-3 years, their cycles do not follow the 26-32 day norm that we are used to.  Some things to remember.

– A normal cycle length for girls can be anywhere from 21-45 days, with an average cycle length of 32 days.
– The amount of days they have their period can also range from 1-7 days.
– The flow can change from cycle to cycle from light spotting to heavy.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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The key at this stage is to always be prepared with pads, undies, or whatever form of product you have chosen. Carrying emergency pads is always a good idea, and if the flow is heavy, wearing backup pads and undies.

It’s also a great idea to start tracking their cycle at this point.  It can often feel like you might have your period every week, or only every few months.  But if they are tracking, they have a much better picture of just how often and how heavy each cycle is.  Often changes in their moods and energy can be the first signs of an impending bleed.  After a number of cycles they’ll get a much better idea of what is normal for them.

What to focus on when tracking your menstrual cycle.

Tracking can either be done with an app like Clue App or My Flo, or just in a diary.

A good idea of what things to focus on each day include:
– What day they are on, EG, day 1 of the cycle is the first day of bleeding
– How heavy the flow is, spotting, light, heavy.
– Any cervical fluid or vaginal secretions, if so, is it clear, stretchy like egg white, tacky.
– Food cravings
– Appetite in general
– Energy high or low
– Chatty or quiet
– Cramping
– Tender breasts
– Happy or sad
– Irritable
– Focused or distracted
– Productive or unproductive
– How does your hair and skin look?

Tracking your menstrual cycle is not only about when you’ll get your period, it’s an overall look at your whole wellbeing.  If things are going wrong hormonally, the menstrual cycle is often where the signs will first show up.  With a good picture of how the menstrual cycle looks for each individual, you will be able to take these along to your health practitioners for the right support.

Posted on Categories:Periods, Puberty

My journey to teaching girls about periods – Part One

 

Beyond The Cusp teaching girls about periods

Hey, my name is Milina.  I’m a mum to two daughters and a son.  I was 40 when I started to really learn about my menstrual cycle and how it affected me.   The more I learnt, the more ripped off I felt.  I felt sad and angry that I was only just learning this, 28 years into this stage of my life.  Like the vast majority of us, this knowledge just wasn’t shared, mainly because it wasn’t known.

So I went through my teens wondering what was wrong with me.  Why did I have moods and energies that fluctuated so often, and why wasn’t I like all the other girls?  Little known to me, we all felt the same.

My 20’s saw me taking the pill for the most part.  Not entirely for birth control, but also to skip periods when I wanted.  It was kind of the done thing wasn’t it, even though I had no idea of the real and lasting side effects.  I didn’t even know that we only have 5-6 fertile days during your cycle.  I stopped taking the pill when my body and mind no longer felt like mine, and I fell pregnant 4 months later.

I went through my years of conception with no idea when I was and wasn’t fertile.  Subsequently, both of our daughters were happy little surprises.

I then went through my 30’s hiding this part of my life from all of my family. Unsure of how to acknowledge it to my daughters.  Not talking about it in front of my husband, to not cause him any discomfort.  And not thinking about how important it was for our son to know about.

Making Changes

When I learned at 40 all of the things that I’d not known before, I knew I wanted something different for my family.  So I continued to learn and started to make changes.  Subtle at first, with little things, like asking for alone time when I had my period, telling my family I needed more quiet and more space at this time, and bringing up conversations that had never been had.

This is just one part of what’s lead me to creating these workshops.  Over the next few weeks I’ll be sharing more. Some of them are personal and raw, but they’re also important. I know by sharing them will change the way for our girls and their future.

These workshops are about more than just periods for me.  They’re about women, young and old, taking the power back into our own hands.  For too long we’ve been told to be quiet and put up with things that we shouldn’t be putting up with.  We’ve been told the best way to heal is to numb our bodies with medication, rather than looking at causes.  Learning about our bodies and our cycles, in a community setting, is one of the most empowering things we can do.  And by doing so we are helping heal all of us.

Part two coming soon.

Posted on Categories:Periods, Puberty

That Libra Ad

In the last month we’ve seen one of the most controversial ads on our tv screens, and in prime time.  Why is this ad so controversial?  Because it shows period blood.  Libra have broken the norm of showing blue liquid as a replacement for period blood, and shown something that actually depicts reality, including blood streaming down a woman’s leg whilst in the shower, and a woman removing a menstrual pad.

https://youtu.be/lm8vCCBaeQw

People have been so offended by this ad that Ad Standards have received more than 600 complaints, making it the most complained about ad this year.

So what is so offensive about it?  Firstly, with full transparency, I’m going to say I was a little taken aback by it when I first saw it as well.  But I quickly asked myself why I felt like that, and realised it’s the old shameful beliefs we have been conditioned with.  Don’t talk about it, it’s gross, it’s dirty, no-one wants to hear about it, and heaven forbid don’t let the children know!

A few weeks back Nat Kringoudis posted about it on her Facebook page.  I was aghast at some the comments and some of the comparisons people were likening it to.  Things like  a used condom and ejaculation.  I kind of don’t blame people for thinking like this, it’s the way we’ve been conditioned.  But it’s time to change.  With those comments aside, it’s the following comments that made me think unless we change how we think ourselves, nothing will change going forward.  As I was making a quick dash to the bakery this morning (because we had nothing for school lunches), the conversation on the radio was around the complaints for this ad and why people were offended.  The woman who called through was one that had complained to the Ad Standards.  Her complaint was similar to what I had read on other threads.  Her complaint was not for the ad itself, but more for the time slot it was allowed to be shown in, when she wanted to sit down to relax with her family and watch tv.  Now she was forcefully put in a position to talk to her children about something that she was not ready to discuss.  She mentioned her children were 13, 11 and 6.  She’d had discussions with her 13 year old, but not with her more “conservative” 11 year old, and her 6 year old was now traumatised and had a very negative first introduction to periods.

I found this so interesting for a number of reasons.  I wanted to ask her why it would be seen as negative?  We are so accustomed to relating blood with pain and suffering, that someone is either injured or hurt.  But a simple explanation of “this is what a healthy woman’s body does, and its not from harm or injury” could be all that is required to put a child’s minds at ease.

So let’s break this down more.  The complaints I’ve seen a lot have been about the ad being shown at Prime Time, and that it’s either not appropriate for children, or that the parents should have the right to discuss periods when they are ready, not when being raised in an ad.

Prime time TV, when Home and Away is being aired with subject matters like drug abuse, arson, pregnancy caused through rape, eating disorders, infidelity.  I haven’t watched Home and Away for a long time, but these were some of the subject matters when I last saw it.  None of these have anything to do with how a healthy woman’s body function, yet it’s okay to show?  Are conversations being had around these topics?

Prime time TV, when Bondi Rescue is being aired, with blood, vomiting, sexual misconduct and drunkeness often being shown.  In my home vomiting is a big inducer of anxiety, and in my opinion, much more disgusting than period blood.  But is that complained about?  None of these have anything to do with how a healthy woman’s body function, yet it’s okay to show?  Are conversations being had around these topics?

What about the Bachelor?  Another prime time TV show where a man is making out with a number of women, or an ad is shown with a woman grinding herself on top of him while in a bikini.  Is this forcing conversations also?  Or do we just cover their eyes, look away and pretend nothing happened?

I’m not saying that any of these should or shouldn’t be shown, I’m just asking how is one offensive and forcing unwanted conversations, and the others not?  We have become so accustomed to seeing everything else on tv, that it’s okay.  Everything except period blood.

Asaleo Care, makers of Libra, said it launched the #bloodnormal campaign to try to normalise periods, break down taboos and to generate conversation.

According to the company’s research, 3 out of 4 Australian women say there is a greater stigma attached to periods than there is drugs or STIs, and a further 8 out of 10 women go to great lengths to hide their period.

Most alarmingly, their research revealed that 70 per cent of young Australian women would rather fail a class than have friends know they were on their period.

We fear what we don’t know and periods and vaginas must be one of the most feared subjects out there.  We automatically think periods equal sex, but that is not the case.  The more we talk about periods, and how it is part of a healthy woman’s body, the less stigma there is around it.

Put aside that it’s a sales tactic, if it takes a shocking and “offensive” ad to start the conversation, that can only be a good thing.  It may be getting some mothers or older folks knickers in a knot, but it’s relieving the anxiety of the 14 year olds out there, and reassuring them that it’s okay to talk about periods, even if thats not the message they are getting at home.