Honouring your daughters first period and beyond is not only a one time event.
Think about any event that caused your body to go through big changes. Having a baby would be one such time. There were many conversations, a lot of preparation, celebration, most likely tears or anxiousness, and then many more conversations. At times you might have felt alone, like you were the only one going through what you were going through, because nobody had told you what you were going through was normal.
Our girls are going through these same big things at the time around their first period. By honouring it with many conversations, preparedness and a sense of normality will help honour this time and just how wonderful her body is.
Here are some ways in which you can honour your daughters first period.
Normalise Conversations
– Talk about your own cycle.If you still get a period tell her when you are bleeding and how that affects you.Whether you get a period or not, you can talk to her about your energetic cycles.
– Be factual about anatomy and use correct terms. Ovaries, uterus, cervix, vagina and vulva
– Ask her what she knows about periods
– Share your first period story with her
– Talk about the energetic and mood ebbs and flows of the cycle
– Remind her that this is shared by every woman and is a sign of health
– Think about the conversations you would have liked to have prior to your first period
Prepare with products
-Talk her through the range of products she has available to her. Include pads, period underwear, tampons and menstrual cups.
– Buy a few sample packs and take a look at how each of them work (See my IGTV for more info on period underwear and Menstrual cups)
– Let her make the decision of what she wants to use first and give them a trial run
– Have the products all ready to go, in a place where she can find them
Celebrate your daughters first period
-Acknowledging this Rite of Passage is just as important as any other. But doing it in a way that also honours your own daughters personality is important.
– Talk to your daughter about how this is a special time and you would like to do something that honours her. Ask her how she would like to celebrate.
– Some suggestions include:
– A pamper day, also a great time to talk about slowing down and taking care of our body
– A bedroom refresh
– A special piece of jewellery
– A circle ceremony with aunties and other special women
– Special time with just the two of you
Help her track
– Honouring her cycle includes helping her navigate through the days, especially in the beginning. When her period arrives teach her how to track her entire cycle, using either an app (girls tend to like Clue or Flo) or a diary. This will help her get to know her own body’s rhythms and what is normal for her. The more she gets to know her own body, the more she can come to trust and love it.
Important things to track include:
– Bleeding days (how heavy or light)
– Spotting days
– Mood changes
– Skin
– Cramping
– Energy changes
Continual Conversation
– Even though many conversations have been had, it’s still so very new. As a result, it’s a little bit scary. Periods can be missed, can be heavier one month or can come while at camp. Honouring her cycle means always being there to ask and answer questions and to check in on her.
– Does she know how often to change products?
– Does she know what to do if she needs to change at school?
– Is she aware of where to find her period products?
– Does she know what to do if she has a leak on her clothes or sheets?
– Is she ready to start considering other products?
– Does she know she is not alone?
You can open the conversation around your daughters first period, as well as keep the conversation going, through a Positive Period Workshop.