How old does my daughter have to be to attend the workshop?
The ideal age for the Beyond the Cusp workshop is from 9 – 12 years, however I do recommend that you gauge where your own daughter is at in terms of physical development and mental readiness. If she is an early developer and you think that at 9 she may not be far away from having her first period, or she is very curious about the changes she is about to go through, then she may be well and truly ready. If she is showing no physical signs, and really not yet interested, even at 10 or 11, you may want to wait until she is feeling more ready, and instead gently start normalising the conversation yourself.
There is no one size fits all, but the more the girls know before they have their period, the less anxiety they feel when it does come.
What if my daughter already has her period, can she still come?
Absolutely. While she may know what her body is going through, she may still feel anxious about certain things, and may also not feel like it’s a subject that is talked about freely. There are also subjects I talk about that I didn’t know myself until my late 30’s! And while it’s not required for the girls to divulge whether they have their periods yet or not, the girls do love to hear the stories from their friends, as well as the mothers.
I have suffered from Endometriosis and really painful periods. Do you delve that far into things in your workshop?
Firstly, I am so sorry you’ve experienced this. I wholeheartedly believe that periods should not be painful, and pain certainly shouldn’t be just something we “put up with”. While we don’t talk about endometriosis specifically, we do talk about what is normal and not normal while we are bleeding and at other times of our cycle. Self awareness and self care is a big topic. This is important to mention, as our lifestyle while we are NOT bleeding definitely has an impact on how we feel when we are bleeding. I am currently working on a list of practitioners to recommend if abnormal pain is occurring. Please watch this space.
My daughter doesn’t want to come by herself, but I really want her to take part. What do you suggest?
I get it. It can be very daunting walking into a room with strangers to talk about something you are completely embarrassed about. If you can encourage a friend to come along with her, it may make things easier. Doing these things with friends not only makes it easier on the day, it also encourages a bond between friends, making it easier for them to talk about with each other as they go through the changes. We are smashing the taboo ladies!
I also asked my 11 year old daughter what she would recommend in this situation. After a little think she said “Bribe them”. haha! I questioned further, asking what kind of thing would work for her. She replied “Movie out with Mum and my favourite dessert”. I’m sharing this because sometimes it can be just that little bit of extra one on one time with Mum that can be enticing enough. The girls only spend the first 3 hours of the workshop as a group before the Mums join in. During this time, there are lots of space to chat, have fun and make friends with the other girls too.
I can’t talk to my daughter about anything period related, she is so grossed out and embarrassed by it. How do I get her to come along?
This is very common, and is perfectly okay. I suggest firstly start to normalise having a period. Mention when you have yours and how you might be feeling on any particular day. If you don’t have a monthly period for whatever reason, normalise having a cycle. You may still notice you feel a little more tired or unfocused during certain weeks. Mention these times as part of your natural cycle. The more you normalise it, the less embarrassed she may feel, seeing that you are not embarrassed by it.
You could then make this day about you and her. A special day to honour a special time. Either before or after the workshop you could schedule in a meal or ice-cream, or even have a mother-daughter date and see a movie. The whole day could be dedicated to the two of you, and the workshop could just be a part of that. Like I mentioned above, just that extra bit of one on one time with Mum could be enough to entice her to attend.
Will you come to me for your workshop?
Of course! I love to travel, and I want to get the word out! There will likely be a travel fee on top of the usual workshop cost, however I do try to keep this to a minimum. I also require a minimum number of participants to go ahead with the workshop, this is normally 8, but depends on how far I need to travel. Please get in touch so we can make it work. Please email me via my contact page here.
I’m a single Dad and out of my depth, can my daughter and I be involved?
Thank you so much for contacting me. I love how you want to be involved. I was raised by a single Dad myself and I know the importance of your role at this time. I am currently working on ways to involve fathers and daughters. Please watch this space, and if you have any thoughts or ideas, I’d love to hear them. Please email me via my contact page here.
Do you offer anything for girls over 12?
Not at this point in time, but watch this space for more events catered more specifically to girls who are already menstruating.
I’ve been a period avoider most of my life. I see it as a nuisance. Seeing some of your posts I think I may not be a great example to my daughter when it comes to her period. Do you offer any workshops to help Mums with their views?
I had been a period avoider for a long time myself, and thought of it as a nuisance. You are definitely not in the minority, and many of the mothers are not aware of some of what I teach. It’s okay though, we don’t know any different because we haven’t been given the knowledge. We are all in the process of reclaiming our own bodies (I know that sounds very new age !).
I don’t have anything on offer for adults at this stage, however I do know a lot of places to start.
Firstly, the book Wild Power was a game changer for me. I still read it and refer to it often.
Fantastic people to follow on instagram who either have e-books or offer workshops on Menstrual Cycle Awareness include Natural Harmony, Claire Baker, Nat Kringoudis, and Alisha Kruger.